Autism, Robert Frost, And The Fight Of Our Lives. The Reason.

I wanted to share with you the reason why we named this blog "And Miles To Go Before We Sleep," a play on the poem title "And Miles To Go Before I Sleep" from the famous poet Robert Frost.

Back in 1996, my son Ethan was two years old and we were starting to suspect that his speech was a bit delayed for what a two year old child should. I made an appointment with his pediatrician and discussed my concerns. The doctor referred me to a developmental specialist who worked for the state and told me that she could perform a developmental assessment to determine if Ethan needed some extra help to push him along.

At this point in both my husband and my life, we were only mildly concerned for Ethan, and there seemed to be nothing in his behavior that raised any red flags that there was anything major out of sorts, at least that is what we thought. The developmental assessment was performed, and the specialist then sat us down to talk. I had noticed she had been crying previously to when she entered the room and I didn't correlate her crying to what she was about to say to us--I thought maybe it was something personal she was upset about.

It was then we were asked if we had ever heard the word AUTISM. Immediately I had a head picture from the movie "Rainman" and of the main character rocking and talking to himself. Immediately I became numb and nothing else in the room registered with me nor did I want it to. All I wanted to do was run home and gather as much information about this developmental disorder as I could, so I could rationalize and talk myself into believing that ETHAN COULD NOT HAVE AUTISM.

Before we left that room where we heard those fateful words, and where we entered into a world where we knew our lives were going to change forever, the specialist handed us a manual-- it was the introduction into the therapy program that Ethan would attend for the next two years of his life. The title of the manual was "And Miles To Go Before I Sleep," and on the inside cover was the famous Robert Frost poem.

Our lives changed forever that day for we closed one chapter in our book, of immaturity and naivety and opened another, to acceptance and profound responsibility. That poem will always remind me of the deep breath I took when I realized that we needed to stare Autism directly in the face and fight for Ethan each and every day and with everything we have. For that day and those sentiments we dedicate this blog, because our family is forever growing and changing and we are forever learning as parents in the best way we know how.